remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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