So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize