We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
