i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
