would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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