It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
