Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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