She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
