Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize