Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
