Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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