and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
