Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
