Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
