just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
PANTIES FOUND
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
