I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
