I wish I could teleport
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
