he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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