I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize