woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
