so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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