is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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