Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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