Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
