This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
