using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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