Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
