Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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