i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
