Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
