her vagine was all disorganized.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
