Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
