Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
