Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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