i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
