Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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