What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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