eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
