The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
