I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is the high leading the old right now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize