I will die if light touches me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
