ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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