You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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