I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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