Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just high enough for therapy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
