i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
