You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
