Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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