Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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