drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize