Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
