how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
