I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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