I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My hand turned me down
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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