ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
