You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You may now shotgun with the bride
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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