Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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