Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
