I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
