So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
