saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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