Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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