i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
