I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
