So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
