Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
